On “Deadlock”

November 28, 2012

Dear Andrea,

I made it a point to write a response this week so we can continue the chain of thought and in keeping with the purpose of this project. I wrote the first essay as a response to an election result that surprised me. In keeping the writing short and to the point I didn’t expound at any length on any of the points. That would certainly mean too much homework as you correctly noted.

I have been in many situations where my views were in the minority and these views were opposed and dismissed, ridiculed and mocked. Too many times my response to this was anger and I could not verbally make my point especially when I was interrupted. This made me lose clarity in getting to the crux of the matter. That is why I found it was less painful to be quiet. Ergo the silence.

As to the matter of gay rights I believe that people are entitled to make a life commitment to whomever they want. I also believe they should get the same legal and social benefits as anyone else. I differ as to definitions. I believe the term marriage should be used to denote a union of a man and a woman, same sex couples a civil union. This might be minor I know, but that is my opinion. Does this mean I am discriminating against same sex unions? No. Just terminology.Isn’t any choice made by noting differences discrimination? We make those choices on a daily basis.

The outrage you sense is not from my opposition of these unions, but the constant forced feeding of the issue. I do not care what goes on behind closed doors; it is none of my business. If I am introduced to someone I do not think their sexual preference should be the main point of that introduction.

You might be right that we are in a deadlock and we are making appeals based on deeply held senses of ethical and moral beliefs. The gap between us is not a chasm though, as the word deadlock might convey. We have differing views but I expect that, just as many of my views were different from those of my father. We are a product of a changing world as we move through our lives. We are thirty years apart though, and some diverse opinions should be the norm. I think you would agree with that.

We are at a point where we are comfortable with each other and I have an enormous amount of respect for you. You have always made me proud of you and you continue to do so. This project is a great idea and I hope we can continue it for a long time.

Dad